March 11, 2020
TRUST. It is such a loaded word. As a noun, it means "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something." How much trust do you have in your self or someone else?
It can be momentary or lifelong, but more importantly, it takes time and reassurance to trust. We trust that others will not give us a reason NOT to trust them, but we have to remember, that before one should jump to conclusions, we have to consider the situation. For example, we have to trust that when we drive a car, others on the road will obey the rules just as we do. Otherwise, driving might not be such a "matter of fact" action. When we send our children to school, we have to trust that they are going to be treated the same way we would treat them at home with love and compassion. We trust ourselves that we will do the right things in our everyday situations and we hope that others do too. What about trusting others such as in a relationship? This may be the ultimate form of trust, because we have to allow ourselves to open up and become vulnerable to another human being, may they be a family member, friend or our person in life.
When you enter into a relationship, you know nothing of the other person. Maybe it was their smile that attracted you or their sense of humor, but ultimately you know nothing about them. You begin to communicate with each other, sharing stories, experiences and spending time together. It goes without saying that it takes time to build a relationship with another person. Remember, this person started out in your life as a stranger, but we are curious and so we begin looking for ways to connect and build a friendship or perhaps more. Sharing of stories from our past or moments we have been through, all build trust. So does acceptance, listening and comforting. It all sounds quite simple, but in fact it is much more complicated than that. One person in the relationship may have been through rough times and are afraid to share, maybe for fear of having the same thing happen to them again or being judged (we all have been through rough times, it's just how we handle those times within ourselves that enable us to move forward). If the relationship seems one sided or the other person is completely closed off, it can become hard to truly get to know the other person. You may become frustrated. If you care enough to continue the relationship, you will most likely continue to be supportive and understanding that everyone shares in their own time and you shouldn't rush these moments. You also hope that the other person will trust you enough to share. Otherwise one person is too closed off, you could begin to lose that connection you have been working so hard to build and the relationship may fail.
It takes a lot of patience to build trust. It certainly isn't something that happens over night but I feel communication is the key. Not just surface communication, but real, open communication. It's the kind that may make you feel a bit uncomfortable at first, making you not want to talk about it or just completely shut down, but it's also the kind of communication that once it is out there it can free you from your past, making it much easier to talk about situations with the other person as well as future talks. In my opinion, it can bring a relationship closer because there is one less thing that is bothering you or that you have to hold inside yourself. It may put you on the same page as the other person, forming an even stronger bond together.
We all want to trust the people in our lives and for some it is harder than others. We all started as strangers but when you know you can trust someone, you can build a deeper connection and be open to sharing. If you don't, they could be the very things that ruin a beautiful relationship that you have been searching for.
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