February 20, 2018
One year ago today (February 20, 2017), I made a choice in my life. I promised myself that I would go back to the gym among other things. Those that know me well enough, know I have always been athletic and in love with sports. A year ago, my life had been on a path that was not healthy any more. So the night before, I promised myself to get healthy, not for my kids, but for me. I promised myself that I would take control of my life, never to allow another to control it or me and to live it to it's fullest. I have not looked back since.
Going back to the gym was probably the most foreign thing I had done in a long while. Most of my days leading up to that morning were filled with taking care of my two children and going through the motions of life just to finish the day. I remember walking into the gym, head down, climbed up the stairs (symbolic now) to the farthest corner of the cardio equipment section. I put on my headphones and pulled myself on to the treadmill. I couldn't admit it then, but I can say now that I was in the WORST shape of my life. I couldn't remember EVER feeling so out of shape. If I was lucky, I told myself, I would try to walk a mile!!! A MILE!!! Day after day, I would try to just complete that mile. I would hide upstairs. But a funny thing began to happen to me as I hid upstairs trying to complete that mile. I made it to 2 miles!!! It was then that I also started to believe that I could climb the Empire State Building. I remember seeing it on TV for a few years prior. My athletic mindset told me I could do it. I made that one of my visions as I walked the treadmill. But I was still hiding in the corner.
There were a lot of changes that began to happen to me everyday that I made it to the gym. A sense of satisfaction was absolutely one feeling I had. I began to feel more confident in my ability and I committed myself to 5am workouts, I showed up every morning and I began to make my gym friends. All these things created the perfect storm for success. But I didn't know it yet. It took me a solid 8 months before I realized what had happened to me.
Wondering what happened to me? I lost 70 pounds in those 8 month!!! But that was not all (more on that in another blog post). In those hard core, soul searching, sweat drenched 8 months, I found my voice again. Yup. We all lose it sometimes. I just happened to lose it for more years than I can remember. Something I should have never lost, but that is another story.
Don't be afraid to BE AFRAID. I was very afraid walking into the gym, a place that seemed so foreign to me. But a transformation began and I AM longer was AFRAID or anything (well except diving in shark infested waters). I walk into the gym, held held high, known as the girl who climbs the stairs. I wave to my friends and we meet for drinks and dinner. My voice is strong, steady and clear.
Stay focused. Find your voice and don't ever let it get lost!!!! It's your most powerful tool!!!
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